What exactly is this???

I never wrote before. I have tried to write a diary on daily basis on many 1st Januaries but never even crossed the 5th day.

It was for one girl that I wrote something, to be exact it was a poem. I could have written anything in Para’s but NO, my feelings asked me to rhyme it. And it did rhyme, and made her speechless when she read it.

But after my proposal and her many denials, yes, ‘many denials’ I started doing what she likes. Writing. Now I write on daily basis without letting her know. 

This is what I feel is dubious. Do I really love her or I am just not accepting the real facts? Why am I doing things which I never did before? Why do I keep on reminding of my love? Why am I not letting her happy the way she is? Is it love or something else?

Dubious

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