Today, I feel paralyzed,
Unable to reason, unable to dwell again,
In the pain I used to live in.
That ache, that shattering, that bitterness for myself,
I miss those piercing of innumerable needles,
Going right through my heart, my words and my breath.
The numbness in the fingers,
The silence in the chaos,
And the droughted eyes,
Now tells a different story.
Not of pain and not of misery,
But of solitudeness and indifference.
Unmoved and unaffected to the worldly laughs and sorrows,
I feel emotionless now,
No pain, no sorrow and no suffering of any living seems to bother me.
Am I turning into a stone?
Am I going away from worldly attachments?
Am I going to be a saint or a heartless living?
Less responding to all those aching stimulies,
I feel cold and dead,
With just a broken heart,
Just Beating and pumping to survive this beautiful hell.
I now feel got used to pain and sufferings,
Now immuning to all this,
I feel numb and lifeless.
It’s strange to feel longing for pain,
But, it is the only thing which didn’t left me in my hard days,
Now, it is too leaving me,
Leaving me to the shadows of solitude.